The joy of tying laces
How we can learn to be happy
I was talking to a friend about the affirmations I do almost every day, and how quick meditations have also been helping. How I was feeling happy and positive and seeing all the good things in life, much more than before.
“That’s just your chemicals working.” He says to me. “You’re just brainwashing yourself, it’s a form of escapism which won’t last.”
So I ask, “Do you know how to tie your shoe laces?”
“Yes of course.” He replies. And then I ask if he always knew how to tie his laces to which of course he answers ‘No.”
We are human so if we feel we don’t have a good enough life through luck, we can create it.
None of us is born knowing how to do things. We learn and when we succeed our brain rewards us with pleasure through dopamine. Whether we watch or are shown, to learn we try time and time again until we can do it. Often this appears external, but it still must be internalised, through muscle memory, memories deposited in the brain and neural pathways established. And over time these all mesh so efficiently that as an adult we can tie our laces without really thinking. And pass on that skill to others – usually our children.
It’s the same with hobbies and sports. We learn to throw a ball, to catch a ball, to manipulate it with our feet and, if we’re lucky to score a goal or two. This all takes years and years of practice training the mind to control the body and the ball. And when you score that first goal of course it’s chemicals that flood through your brain but they’re more than just that they are joy, triumph, excitement and fulfilment. And you have learned how to create this feeling.
It’s the same with happiness and joy and positivity and self -fulfilment and a wealth of positive experience. We are human so if we feel we don’t have a good enough life through luck, we can create it. We can make out of the chaotic universe patterns that please us, that bring us joy. Whether that is through being grateful for what we already have or going out and changing things. And more than that, just as when we score a goal we share the joy with our team mates we can pass around our joy to others we share our lives with.
